And I am not talking from a gender or physical point of view but strictly energetic. Because that’s what tantra is – energy practice.
Polarity is really what attracts us as humans. This is a rod of magnetism, when the two opposite poles, feminine and masculine, meet. It is important to understand that we are being both. All of us have both within ourselves, they are inseparable. And to point it out, they do not contradict each other but rather compliment each other.
To give you an example of feminine and masculine polarities, I like to compare it to the elements of water and fire. Feminine energy is like cool water, slowly flowing, love to surrender when it feels safe and finally wants to be filled and taken, fully ravished. Masculine energy is fiery, fast, focused, direct. He wants to come to the end, to finish, to complete, just like the fire starts burning, it wants to destroy everything that surrounds it fast.
So it is important to be aware of this polarity within ourselves and create an understanding that we do need both to balance the sexual energy within. Remember, they are not contradictory but complimentary. Honoring both will create a deep and harmonious relationship.
Notice, which polarity is closer to you? It can shift, of course, depending on your relationship, stages of your life, difficult or happy circumstances, etc. Usually, in long term relationships, people get so close to each other, doing everything together, going places together, liking same things, etc. Eventually they start to look alike. Life becomes monotonic, the same. And when everything stays the same, attraction fades away. So does passion. So does desire. What do we do in this case? I invite you to honor your polarities, whatever it is. It is your unique pattern. In order to cultivate the attraction, you may consider playing with it. First, discover which one is your core polarity, which one it feels most natural to you. Do you enjoy surrendering or pursuing? Do you like to be held or do the holding? What is most enjoyable for you? Once you discover that, you can bring the awareness and play with the other polarity, which is not so distinct. Switch roles. It may first feel uncomfortable for you since you are uncovering parts of yourself you never dared before. Stay playful and innocent, that is always the easiest way to adjust to the unknown. Then you will notice how the new energy starts pulling you towards each other , creating new sense of passion, magnetism, closeness.